‘Tis the season for new mom friends.
We all stand together at kindergarten drop off. We line up a few hours later for pickup. We schedule playdates, dance lessons, and moms night out. We laugh about how tired we are, how are kids are insane, and how much we totally deserve wine.
Lots of wine.
A new neighbor came up to me a few weeks ago while my youngest kids were losing their shit on the playground, and she asked me if I drink a lot of wine at the end of the day. I laughed.
When I got sober a few months ago, I lost my circle of mom friends. I guess that’s kind of a normal thing, my sober friends have gone through it too. I can’t really figure out why. I’m still me, I’m just not chugging wine in your back yard at two pm on a Tuesday afternoon. I’m also a pretty good designated driver, you’d think someone would have taken advantage of that by now.
I was a crappy human being when I was drunk. I’m the friend who would get black out drunk and leave the bar without saying goodbye to anyone. I’m the friend who couldn’t hang out, because I was barfing all day with zero recollection of the night before. The only way for me to become a semi-decent human being was to put the wine down.
*Drunk Kate making excellent choices*
Is it threatening to mom culture if we stop drinking? Uh…yes.
Coffee! Wine! More Coffee! More Wine!
Does it force other moms to reflect on their own drinking habits?
I’m not saying that these moms are alcoholics, but it’s hard to face your vices. There’s such a stigma of being sober in a mommy circle. How do sober people have any fun? Do sober people sit awkwardly at your dining room table while everyone else is drinking? Sounds like sober moms are lame as hell.
I’ve gotten a lot of playdate texts from new friends asking if I wanted to hang out with our kids and drink vodka lemonades. I’m pretty open about my sobriety ( DUH.), but it’s still a little hard to tell a new person in your life that you used to be a raging alcoholic. It’s pretty simple to say, ” No thank you, I don’t drink,,” but getting those words out of my mouth can be a struggle at first.
I’m really fucking fun. I’m loud, wild and incredibly inappropriate. I’m sure it’s embarrassing for my children, but a fellow mom might enjoy my boisterous disposition.
Hungry? I can cook for you! I love cooking, and I don’t care or mind if you have a glass of wine while enjoying my company. If I’m feeling extra nice I might even bake you something yummy.
Sober moms can shop, take road trips, go to the movies, take cooking classes, go to concerts, jump in pools, go to the zoo, go to one of those painting party things everyone talks about, bitch about our crazy toddlers, watch football (Ok, that’s probably a stretch for me.), rap to your favorite Nicki Minaj song, and do WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT.
People actually do live without alcohol. Can you imagine? How crazy! Such insanity! Never thought it would be possible!
We’re all moms. We go through a lot of shit together, that’s just how it is. Some of us get sober, some of us don’t. It doesn’t matter. You do you, I’ll do me.
Just be a friend.
I”m lucky to have some amazing sober friends. We lift each other up. We cry, laugh, dance and eat copious amounts of candy together.
I spent this past weekend with one of my very best friends. She’s not an alcoholic, but she’s very supportive of my sobriety. We hung out and had a blast this weekend. We had a good time even
Who’s to say that sober moms can’t have relationships like that with moms that drink? Normal people can drink whenever the hell they want. It doesn’t bother me or affect my sobriety. My life and choices have nothing to do with yours. Whether you drink or not, it’s none of my business. Drink up my friend, drink up. I’ll pound my red bull, you can pound your pina coolada.
It’s all good.