First born.


When I found out I was pregnant with my first kid, I was twenty-six years old. Literally, still a baby myself. I remember looking in the mirror at my growing belly and thinking, ” There’s no way I can be a mother. I’m still growing up. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM YET.”


Too late for all that kind of self-doubting chatter.


Fiona arrived pretty promptly about one hour after her due date. The first time I held her, I knew I was meant to do this. To be a mommy. Her mommy.


Shortly after this beautiful moment, all hell broke loose.


I lived in a circle of boobs, poop, and google.


Constantly checking google for things like, “ Is the color of my kids poop normal?”, “ Will my kid ever sleep through the night?”, “ I’m breastfeeding, so why am I NOT LOSING ANY WEIGHT? WTF!”. This went on for months before I told google to f*ck off, I’d figure out this mom shit on my own.


Total lie. I found a village of moms who didn’t judge. I found that my mother, step mother, mother in law, grandmother, and many aunts, had so much love and insight to shower me with. (Even when I didn’t want to hear it.)


*it’s important to wear heels while sleeping.*


Some of my proudest parenting accomplishments…


  1. When Fiona was reading a book about frogs. She couldn’t say “Froggy”, but she could say, “ F*cky”. I let her roll with that for a few months, mostly because it made me laugh so damn hard.
  2. I encouraged her to throw shade. She throws shade left and right to everyone. She’s a professional shade thrower.IMG_0854*shade.*
  3. She started wearing high heels at 18 months old. I can’t really take credit for that, because I hate high heels.
  4. Her favorite thing for dinner is  ground beef. I’m very confused about this, but hey! She’s getting a good supply of iron.
  5. She enjoys putting her sister on a leash while walking around the house.
  6. She wants to be an engineer when she grows up.

IMG_0858* expert nose picker*

The older she grows the better it gets.

IMG_0850*pure joy*


IMG_0853*mamas little helper*


We liked having Fiona around so much, we decided to have another. Stay put. You’ll meet her soon.


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